Local Man Celebrates Valentines Day By Getting The Bathroom To Himself

A local man is celebrating Valentines Day by taking his first solo poo.

“I finally got the toilet to myself for the first time after 22 years of marriage,” Eaglehawk man Red Cordial said.

The father of 5 tweeted the occasion: “Taking a poo without an audience #Winning”. Within minutes he was congratulated by a number of celebrities including Hugh Jackman, The Queen, Dwayne Johnson and Tommy Lee.

His wife asked The Bendigo Standard “What do you get the man who has everything?”

Mr Cordial’s kids would often interrupt him mid-poo and he would tell them “Crapping is not a team sport unless you’re GWS. Now get out.”

Mr Cordial spent 2 days in the bathroom and had 5 epiphanies while designing a patent for a solar-powered broom. All while belting out Living On A Prayer by Bon Jovi at the top of his voice.

His wife filed a missing person report.

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