A local soccer player has been shown a yellow card after he was injured at home.
Lionel Spring from the Long Gully Crocs fell to the floor, grabbing his ankle in agony after his wife suggested visiting her parents.
“My ankle is stuffed. I can’t get up. I guess we can’t go. Bugger. Ahhh, my ovaries.”
As soon as the trip was cancelled, the man fully recovered. “It’s a miracle, hallelujah!” Lionel told The Bendigo Standard.
According to his partner Emma, the theatrics have gotten so bad she started calling him Neymar. “This happens every year. Last year his shoulder mysteriously dislocated as soon as I mentioned that we should host Christmas.”
“I was told that when you marry your partner, you’re marrying their entire family.”