After discovering his entire backyard fence had vanished overnight like a magician’s assistant with commitment issues, Cal Gully resident Wayne Takeaseat remained shockingly upbeat.
“Well, at least it’s not hailing this time,” said the 54-year-old optimist, standing in the open void where a Colorbond fence once stood, now replaced by a scenic view of his neighbour’s clothesline, caravan and a Staffordshire terrier named Big Kev.
“Last year we had hail that made my alfresco roof look like it was involved in a drive by shooting.”
Bendigo Council has issued a standard statement urging residents to “tie down anything not attached to the Earth” and to “stop calling about missing fences, we’re not the fence police, even though we do permits.”
His partner, Mee-ghann, was seen Googling “how to build emotional boundaries when literal ones are gone.”
