In a groundbreaking moment for both zoology and questionable taxidermy, Halls Gap Zoo announced today the first successful mating of two taxidermy koalas, igniting celebrations.
The historic event unfolded quietly in the dimly lit Marsupial Memories Exhibit, where staff had recently arranged two lifeless koalas in a highly romantic spooning position, with Barry White playing from a nearby Bluetooth speaker.
Zoo director Sharon Gulliver confirmed the birth of a crochet baby koala named ‘Hope’ as a symbol of the pair’s successful taxidermal union.
“We weren’t expecting results this quickly,” said Zoo Keeper Glenn Fairlane, adjusting his commemorative ‘Koala Love 2025’ cap. “But after a few days, we noticed a definite shift in energy—like, one of the koalas sort of tilted a bit. It was either the miracle of life or the air conditioning unit playing silly buggers again.”
The Australian Taxidermy Society responded with cautious optimism. “While it’s unorthodox,” said society president Michael Carmichael, “we’ve always said that love knows no pulse.”
Locals in the Grampians region have embraced the story, with souvenir shops quickly selling out of commemorative mugs, tea towels, and ethically sourced eucalyptus-scented candles labelled “Love Never Dies.” A new statue, titled “Koality Time Together,” has been commissioned for the zoo entrance.
Meanwhile, tourism is booming as visitors flock to see the motionless marsupial couple. One tourist, Deborah from Dandenong, wept openly. “It’s just so inspiring. If two stuffed koalas can find love, maybe there’s hope for me too.”
When asked what’s next, Zookeeper Glenn hinted at big plans: “We’re setting up a Tinder profile for a cassowary next. He’s single, terrifying, and ready to mingle.”
