In an all-too-familiar scene at the Faith Leech Aquatic Centre, the iconic Hoobee Tubee waterslide was shut down again today following a dramatic incident involving a local dad who got wedged mid-slide while proving he’s still got it.
Epsom dad Greg Simmons, 42, claimed he was “just testing it for the kids.” Simmons became wedged halfway down while trying to prove to his kids he was “still a legend.” Witnesses reported that the rescue took over 3 hours with firefighters and SES using soap and a crane, and one onlooker described it as “a lot of dignity loss.”
Simmons, clearly battered by the slide and his pride, continued: “I thought I could make it. I thought gravity was my friend. But apparently, when you’re shaped like a Kmart bean bag, gravity’s more like that one friend who never picks up the tab.”
Hoobee Tubee designer Marty Banks quickly defended his masterpiece: “It’s not the slide’s fault. These dads need to know their limits. It’s a waterslide, not an audition for a superhero movie.”
Experts suggest dads stick to safer activities, such as standing on the sidelines and yelling, “Careful!” while holding a latte.
