Meatstock’s Dad Bod Contest has shattered records this year, attracting an unprecedented number of applicants—all named Jeff.
With thousands flocking to the festival grounds for a celebration of meat, music, and uncomfortably tight shorts, the Dad Bod Contest, traditionally a highlight of the event, reached new heights in participation and confusion.
“I thought I was seeing double, triple, heck, even quadruple Jeffs at one point,” said Sean Smith, “but I’m pretty sure they just multiplied. There’s Jeff with a Bintang singlet, Jeff with a mullet, and Jeff wearing a shirt that says ‘I’m just here for the BBQ.'”
Contestants have taken a deep sense of pride in their name-sharing phenomenon. “I’m just here to represent the Jeffs, mate,” said one Jeff, competing for his 2nd consecutive year. “It’s like a brotherhood. A Jeff-hood.”
Festival spokesperson Jeff McKenna told The Bendigo Standard, “The judges might be a bit overwhelmed, but we’ve got a special prize this year for the best ‘Dad Bod-Jeff Hybrid.’ Think of it as a crossover event where the spirit of BBQ and the power of Jeff all combine into one glorious Dad Bod.”
Not all attendees, however, were thrilled about the sheer dominance of the Jeff contingent. “I mean, come on, where’s the diversity?” grumbled local participant Dave, a man of mystery whose name, he insists, is “not Jeff.” “What happened to the Brad’s, the Greg’s, or—God forbid—a Phil? It’s a literal Jeff-fest!”
In other news, the Meatstock “World’s Largest Sausage Sizzle” was also a massive success, with more than 35 sausages being simultaneously overcooked on the grill by men named… you guessed it—Geoff.
