In a shocking upset, Bendigo’s Talking Tram beat out 50 human contestants to win the Toastmasters Speech of the Year award.
The Tram, known for its monotonous delivery of Bendigo’s mining history and Victorian architecture, was a dark horse in a competition otherwise filled with humans who could move their mouths. Despite being incapable of gesturing or emoting in any recognizable way, the Tram’s pre-recorded commentary somehow managed to woo judges and claim the prize for “Best Inspirational Speech.”
Judges said the Talking Tram speech was “concise, clear, and refreshingly consistent.”
“There’s something poetic about hearing ‘Look to your left, and you’ll see the Sacred Heart Cathedral’ for the 400th time,” said one judge, blinking back tears.
“The Talking Tram just has a way with words,” said a local Toastmasters representative, who described the experience as ‘surreal.’ “The way it spoke about Lake Weeroona? It was like listening to a TED Talk, but better. The pauses between each sentence—it’s genius. You never know if it’s about to say something profound or if you’ve just hit a red light.”
The competition’s runners-up included a local schoolteacher, a motivational speaker from Melbourne, and a cult leader from Sydney. All of them were reportedly devastated by the loss.
The Tram is going on tour next year, with Toastmasters clubs across Australia eager to hear its highly sought-after monologue. Sources say it has already been invited to keynote at an upcoming TEDx conference in Castlemaine, where its topic will be ‘The Importance of Staying on Track.’
As the Talking Tram was presented with the Toastmasters Speech of the Year award, it launched into its standard spiel: “To your right, you’ll see the historic Shamrock Hotel, built in 1854. It is one of the finest examples of Victorian architecture in all of Bendigo.”
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