Famed for his pilot role fighting the Sith during the Phantom Menace chapter in the Star Wars history books, Anakin Skywalker, 10, from a galaxy far, far away, has given his view on Coronavirus.

“It’s not podracing,” said Skywalker.

How about some insight into other topics, like frogs?

“That’s podracing,” said Skywalker.

Writing on a chalk board?

“That’s not podracing,” said Skywalker.

Eating a good biscuit?

“I’d say that’s podracing,” said Skywalker.

Eating a bad biscuit?

“That’s not podracing,” said Skywalker.

Hmmm, we wonder if the repeated reference to podracing in the history book was intended to show some dramatic character arch, a growth from childhood play into adulthood combat, but has been mocked since drawing a line between those two elements is pretty naff, because a solider today doesn’t run into battle saying “THIS is cops and robbers!” would you agree?

“That’s not podracing,” said Skywalker.

The end.