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    These are wheelie bins.

    Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins

    Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

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    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

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    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Council Shuts Down 6 Year Old’s Marijuana Stand For Not Having A Permit

    Dan Andrews Reveals Ring Of Steel Is Just A Giant Egg Ring

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    Grown Adult Still Traumatised By Faceless Doll In 90’s Kids Show

    Brendan Fraser Signs On For “Pre-Covid Man”

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    Bendi-Con Cosplayer Dressed As Dr Manhattan Arrested By Police, Told To Put Pants On

    Channel 10 Begins Filming I’m From Bong Gully… Get Me Out Of Here ya ****!

    Tramspotting Screening at the Star Cinema

    Great Scott! Rod Fyffe Cast As Doc Brown In Upcoming Back To The Future Remake

  • Food + Drink

    Hoarder Cocktail Night Recipes: Hand Sanitizer And Cola, And More

    Hoarder Fashion: Pasta Necklaces Are In This Year!!!!

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    Darrell Lea To Release The Taste Of Bendigo

    Local Man Gives Three Thumbs Up To Bendigo’s Smallest Parma

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    Local Man Discovers You Can’t Get Naked At Get Naked Espresso Bar

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    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

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The Bendigo Standard
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3 Injured In Lightsaber and Nunchuck Fight

Mike Elliott by Mike Elliott
June 7, 2016
in Law & Order

3 Kangaroo Flat men have been arrested by Police this morning and charged with attempted murder after injuring each other with Star Wars lightsabers and a nunchuck.

The three unnamed men aged 26, 28 and 29 were fighting over who was going to be Luke Skywalker when one of the men accidentally cut his brother’s arm off. The second brother retaliated and cut his brother’s leg off while quoting “It’s just a flesh wound” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

“We bought the Lightsabers from eBay. How were we to know it was gonna hurt someone?”

The third unnamed brother just arrived home from an advanced screening of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and used a nunchuck to break up the fight accidentally hitting himself in the right testicle.

The two men’s mother Stephanie Braine came home from work to find both of their sons passed out in their backyard and quickly called an Ambulance. “It looks like the Red Wedding scene from Game Of Thrones” she said.

This is the 4th spate of Lightsaber accidents in the past 2 weeks. The ACCC handed down its findings and is requesting that the government either initiate a lightsaber buy back scheme or make it mandatory for Lightsabers to have a marshmallow stuck to the end of all Lightsabers real or not.

The three men are expected to make a full recovery and return to their jobs working for the Long Gully Parks Department.

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  • Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins
  • Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form
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