In accordance with long-standing tradition, Bendigo Council announced plans yesterday to dig up the mall again.
“We think it’s due for its decennial digging down, in accordance with the ancient traditions of our people” said Bendigo Council spokesbot Brent Spork. “Studies have shown that people get really upset when the mall gets left alone for too long, so we think it’s time to bring in the backhoes and perform the structural equivalent of the I’m Feeling Lucky button.”
When pressed for details of what the mall would look like once the works were completed, Spork was non-committal. “Look, you never really know what it’ll be until the noise stops. We could have cars back, it could be a green space again, heck, we might even go really old-school and chuck some horse feeders in for old times sake.”
Not everyone was as happy with Council decisions as Council itself was. “Not this shit again” said Ashley Turlot, one of the four remaining traders in the mall. “What do they think’s under there, pirate treasure?”