Arn Daveson of Strathfieldsaye has claimed the Dragons appearing in the Easter parade are not a
realistic representation of the magical species.
“Look, I’ve played all five editions of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, and none of them has had dragons appear as a cloth-and-wood framework carried around by people,” Mr Daveson said. “I think it’s sad when a TV fantasy series like Game of Thrones is closer to showing these magnificent creatures in all their fire-breathing, flying glory than a festival designed to showcase the best of Bendigo.”
Mr Daveson is a self-confessed Game Of Thrones expert and has won many local G.O.T trivia nights.
“And Game of Thrones have the dragons being controlled by a single person, which is totally impossible unless they’re playing First edition, and Khaleesi is a Mage of at least 15th level with an Intelligence of 18 and the Orb of Dragonkind artefact! Getting these things right requires some effort, but it’s achievable. Like moving out of your mum’s house or having satisfying sex with another person, both of which I, ah, I’ve totally done.”
The Bendigo Chinese Dragon Association refused to comment.
Arn will not be attending the Easter Parade but might have some friends over at his place provided his bedroom is cleaned to a standard acceptable to his mother.