Blues & Roots Festival Not As Sad or Sexy As Name Suggests

By on November 10, 2018

The Bendigo Blues & Roots Festival is in its diggity year, and none are more disappointed than Grumpy McBum, 47, from Pasco Vale.

“Every year I come here with a box of tissues to cry and get my end away, and I never use the tissues. Well, I do use them but not in the way I wanted,” said Mr McBum.

The Festival brings many tourists to the region, probably not as obvious as the Mosque Protesters since they either don’t show Southern Cross tattoos or order lattes, but there are a lot of them.

“It’s a long drive up,” said Mr McBum, “I mean it does take longer than Footscray West to Footscray North between 3pm and 6pm on a Monday to Friday, but still, it’s not close.”

The result is many, many hotels are booked out.

“To be honest every year I hope to get miserable and wake up in a strangers bed, maybe a futon, or a couch, or in a tent on an air bed, wow, that would be sweet, having a bonk and a cry on a cushion of air underneath a thin sheeting of fabric, ah, so good,” said Mr McBum.

So aside from tourism and raising the dreams of everyone, the Blues & Roots Festival includes music.

“Oh, yeah, sorry I’m just off to get some tissues,” said Mr McBum.

Enjoy the music this weekend, and be tidy in anything else you do.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

Leave a Reply and win at life