The Bendigo Standard was today restored to its last-known-good state, after attempts to install the internet’s first coin-operated paywall ended in disaster.
“I’m not sure exactly what went wrong” said Mike Elliott, editor-in-chief of the Standard. “I mean, I followed all the instructions: installed the dependant packages, applied the updates, arranged six black candles around a north-facing goat. All the usual things you need for a successful IT upgrade.”
The coin-operated paywall, believed to be the first of its kind, not only failed to work but also brought the rest of the site down with it. “We thought we’d try the documented troubleshooting steps, but no matter how many 20-sided dice we rolled we couldn’t get a straight answer. Our best guess was that it was eaten by a grue.”
The Standard website remained down for several hours due to no one being able to locate the floppy disk containing the backup. “Yeah, we have a uni student manually copy our Geocities template to a 3.5″ each night. It’s no issue for us, and it’s amazing how desperate journalism students are for something approximating work experience.”
The experience has left Mike wary of future upgrades. “This obviously isn’t good at all. This is the second-worst newspaper paywall implementation that Bendigo residents have suffered through this year.”