Channel Ten announced yesterday that the next Bachelor will be Bendigo’s own Crate Man.

“I’m just looking for the right Crate to spend the rest of my life with” said Crate Man. “Crate Woman is out there somewhere. I’m ready to fall in love.”

And what is Crate Man looking for in a Crate Woman? “She has to be plastic, square and not lactose intolerant.”

15 Crate Ladies will fight for the exclusive red zip-tie. The last Crate Lady remaining will win the heart of Crate Man.