In a bold move Fredrick J. Bunny, known publicly as the Easter Bunny, has made an offer to purchase Christmas.
It has been rumoured that Kris Kringle, also known as Saint Nicholas and operating globally under the moniker Santa Claus, has been under financial stress.
“Christmas is a great brand and if that is coming onto the market it makes sense for Bunny to look at it,” said Bendigo Standard financial advisor the Beard Foot Investor.
Share prices have stalled and speculation about the future of Christmas has been high since the failure of another Christmas in July.
“The goal of mid-year Christmas was to get extra cash flow into the business, since solo month trading is difficult for any organisation and requests for Laser Disc Systems never matched Kringle’s original stock order,” said the Beard Foot Investor.
Pushing Christmas decoration sales into November, and in some departments October, has been met with consumer backlash.
“It feels like a money grab, and it sort of is,” said the Beard Foot Investor.
To make ends meet there has been speculation that Kringle has been outsourcing more public appearances to paid impersonators as a way to concentrate on the problems at home.
“There’s been no secret that Mrs Claus’ departure to Costco has hit Kringle personally, and since she was an important manager behind the scenes he has also had to step into other issues, such as a new elf workplace health and safety agreement, enterprise barging with the reindeer, and renewable energy targets, which isn’t easy when wind-turbines constantly clog with snow,” said the Beard Foot Investor.
Spokes-animal for Easter Investments has said that Mr Bunny has placed a tentative offer.
“Mr Bunny is interested in the growth of the gift giving market, and we have considered purchasing another holiday period for sometime,” said Heather Moo Cow from Easter Inc.
Mr Bunny is notoriously conservative on the public front, hiding himself as much as eggs, however the option to buy Christmas is a dangling carrot too big to ignore.
“Since buying Halloween some years ago, Easter has done great work building that brand in non-traditional markets such as Australia, New Zealand and Guam. So if the price is right and Kringle is ready to sell, we might see a new owner of in the coming months,” said the Beard Foot Investor.
No sale is expected until next year, when Kringle’s financial position will be more clearly known, and any sale is likely to maintain the Santa Claus image and Kringle himself, though perhaps on a casual basis.
