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Fat Shaming Knickers the Cow Raises Steaks

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
December 5, 2018
in Bendigo News

The obese cow named Knickers has been copping it left, right and centre.

“They’re even talking about her in Guam. You know the kind of stuff that happens in Guam? It’s got to be a big story for them to care about it,” said Doug Ray, 31, of Strathdale.

Because of its size when compared to naturally smaller cattle of a different breed, Knickers has received a lot of world wide attention.

“They’re comparing her to radioactive spiders and saying she’s having too much chocolate and beer smoothies, and that kind of thing really gets to someone, you know,” said Mr Ray, who is an animal psychologist, yes there really is such a thing, though they normally focus on talking about why a dog isn’t barking, which often has to do with it being board sexually or intellectually, or both, which is the same for humans so it’s not difficult, like, humans are recommended to go for a walk or chat to a friend if they’re feeling in the dumps, and it really helps, really, same goes for pets.

Anyway, it is a big arse cow.

“Now, look,” said Mr Ray, apparently hearing all this dictation, “Everyone has their likes and dislikes, my Aunt Mary likes a tipple of sherry on a Sunday morning, she says it really gets her going before church, then she has a good swig of the holy wine, and then she’s off to the roast lunch at the bowls club and in bed by three, but that’s just Aunt Mary, or not just Aunt Mary to be honest, she has a whole gang, they call themselves the Alco-Grannies, anyway the point is everyone has something, but to be publicly ridiculed for your size, around the world, in a language you don’t understand, that’s got to hurt.”

Probably true, for a fatty boomba larda cow as much as for a human.

Here’s a link to some cow bashing from across the ocean: https://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow/videos/knickers-the-giant-cow-breaks-the-internet/1997992526959608/

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Comments 1

  1. Pat Mapoo says:
    2 years ago

    Leave this poor cow alone, we’ve “herd” it all before, time to mooove on, nip it in the bud now, or should I say ram it up the rump? How can a cow hide from this scrutiny? See what I did there, funny or what? I’ll see myself out now after an udder butchering of humour.

    Reply

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