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Leia Organa Steals Plans To Mosque

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
27 July 2019
in Bendigo News

The building of Bendigo’s first mosque has been thrown some curly questions.

“The designs are missing,” said Gus McGuff, local labourer and all-round nice guy.

The Bendigo Standard can report that a holo-disc containing the super secret designs to the super secret mosque have been stolen by some rebel scum.

“Oh yeah, it’s like, you know, yeah, this women came over and was like, What’s that?, and I was like, Plans, and she was like, For what?, and I was like, The mosque, and she was like, Yoink!”, said Mr McGuff.

Surveillance footage shows a Miss Leia Organa using a five finger discount to bog-off with the highly prized blueprints.

“Working this build man, you like, get so many questions, you know. Like, Can you drink on the job? No, you never can. Sure, we have, but no, you’re never supposed to. So many questions about what it will look like too, and what it’ll do, like, people are crazy, as if it’s going to be some huge moon sized, battle station that will hide the boogeyman, John Wick himself. More likely to have some boogie man, like KC and the Sunshine Band,” said Mr McGuff.

The architect for the mosque is unconcerned about the missing plans.

“I have back-ups,” said Doug McStrumpett, “Save, close, and back-up. Always click save, close, and then back-up before bed.”

When pressed on the architectural designs for the moon shaped, battle station that Miss Leia ‘Princess’ Organa has the plans for, Mr McStrumpett said, “Look, it’s not my best work. I mean, if you shoot this one part the whole thing blows-up.”

And so the Bendigo Standard asked, will the plans now be altered?

“Yeah, I might resubmit a more mosque shaped design to the committee, which to be honest is what they wanted in the first place,” said Mr McStrumpett. “They never liked the reactor system anyway.”

Building of Bendigo’s first mosque will be completed in a galaxy far, far away… East Bendigo.

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