Clown entertainer Leon “Boffo” Cavallo has made the day of all the children in the Children’s Ward of the Bendigo Hospital a little brighter by promising not to visit.

I checked with the nursing staff and was told that, basically, all the kids were terrified by the prospect of a grown man in white face-paint and a brightly coloured outfit being near them. Sick, or healthy.”

Adorable child patient Taki Cardia agreed, saying I-like-how-the-clown-man-is-not-here-b’cause-it-means-I can-sleep-and-have-dreams-and not-wee-the-bed.”

Nurse Stephanie Scope explained the hospital’s decision, saying Look, I’m an adult with a job, a real job. Not one writing fictional articles for a satirical online newspaper, and I find clowns terrifying. Had to run out the movie theatre when they were showing a preview of “It”. Nothing against Mr Cavallo, of course, he’s allowed in the hospital if he wants to visit family or needs medical treatment himself, but he’d better not come here in that bloody get-up.”

Mr Cavallo intends to split the time saved not visiting the hospital on his rabbit-breeding job and his Insane Clown Posse cover band.