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Bendigo

Local Man Gets Beard Caught In Marketplace Travelator

A man last week was rushed to emergency after his beard caught in the travelator at the Bendigo Marketplace.

The accident happened shortly after 10am when his beard became jammed in the travelator as he tried to hop off.

As the travelator pulled him to the floor a member of the public hit the emergency stop button. Someone tried to cut the man free but he rejected assistance saying he’d rather die than lose his beard. Shockingly, it was too late as the travelator ripped his face off.

The man could be heard screaming ‘My beard, my beautiful beard’ and was¬†flown to Bendigo Health. Unfortunately the man’s face could not be saved.

A plastic surgeon who watched the movie Face/Off days before decided to replace the man’s face with a mask of Nicolas Cage he used for Halloween last month. The 15 hour surgery dubbed the ‘Cagedectomy’ was a success and the man was released from hospital the next day. He tweeted ‘I feel like a new man #blessed.’

The man has been experiencing side effects including over acting and repeatedly quoting Nicolas Cage movies. He was fired from his job yesterday after running his hand down his bosses face.

The Bendigo Marketplace is now suggesting that people with facial hair take the elevator instead.

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