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The Bendigo Standard
Sunday, February 17, 2019
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    Local Man Gets Life Advice From A Maccas French Fry Giving A Thumbs Up

    Record January Temperatures Cause Sharp Spike in Bad Valentines Cards

    Lamington Drive To Fund The Completion Of The Murphy Street Roundabout

    Chinese Dragons To Be Sewn Together Into A ‘Dragon Centipede’ For Easter Festival

    82-Year-Old Lost On School Excursion Emerges From Mine After 67 Years

    Parking Not Fine. Mayor Receives Ticket Outside Council Office

    Australia Has Decided! Fat Cat And Patsy Biscoe To Represent Australia In Eurovision

    This is Samuel L Jackon in The Negotiator. It's a great movie. You should watch it if you haven't already

    Man Held Hostage At Work

    Studies Show First-Born’s Are Better Drivers Than Their Younger Siblings

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    Lamington Drive To Fund The Completion Of The Murphy Street Roundabout

    Your Horoscope – Week Of February 11, 2019

    Studies Show First-Born’s Are Better Drivers Than Their Younger Siblings

    Overly Excited Local Man Won’t Shut Up About His Weber

    Chicken Salt Dealers Arrested in Strathdale

    Naked Dancers Sighted In Strathfieldsaye With Promise Of Rain

    Year 12 Student With No Job Looking Forward To Taking A Gap Year

    Local Loses 85 kgs On A Bendigo Original Pie Shop Diet

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    Australia Has Decided! Fat Cat And Patsy Biscoe To Represent Australia In Eurovision

    Eaglehawk Theatre Company to Present: Twelfth Night on the Piss

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    The Bendigo Cup Form Guide

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    Local Man Gets Life Advice From A Maccas French Fry Giving A Thumbs Up

    Record January Temperatures Cause Sharp Spike in Bad Valentines Cards

    Lamington Drive To Fund The Completion Of The Murphy Street Roundabout

    Chinese Dragons To Be Sewn Together Into A ‘Dragon Centipede’ For Easter Festival

    82-Year-Old Lost On School Excursion Emerges From Mine After 67 Years

    Parking Not Fine. Mayor Receives Ticket Outside Council Office

    Australia Has Decided! Fat Cat And Patsy Biscoe To Represent Australia In Eurovision

    This is Samuel L Jackon in The Negotiator. It's a great movie. You should watch it if you haven't already

    Man Held Hostage At Work

    Studies Show First-Born’s Are Better Drivers Than Their Younger Siblings

  • Life + Style
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    Lamington Drive To Fund The Completion Of The Murphy Street Roundabout

    Your Horoscope – Week Of February 11, 2019

    Studies Show First-Born’s Are Better Drivers Than Their Younger Siblings

    Overly Excited Local Man Won’t Shut Up About His Weber

    Chicken Salt Dealers Arrested in Strathdale

    Naked Dancers Sighted In Strathfieldsaye With Promise Of Rain

    Year 12 Student With No Job Looking Forward To Taking A Gap Year

    Local Loses 85 kgs On A Bendigo Original Pie Shop Diet

    Local Man Complains About Partner Sleeping Under The Blankets With The Air On

  • Entertainment
    • All
    • Movies
    • Music
    • TV

    Australia Has Decided! Fat Cat And Patsy Biscoe To Represent Australia In Eurovision

    Eaglehawk Theatre Company to Present: Twelfth Night on the Piss

    L Plater Drives Car Into Lake Weeroona Doing Bird Box Challenge

    Expecto Patronum! Sacred Heart Cathedral To Be Transformed Into Hogwarts

    Bendigo Have Your Say’s Anthony Butler To Star On I’m A Celebrity…

    Eaglehawk Theatre Company Presents ‘Carrie’

    Karl Stefanovic Announced As The New Host Of ‘Good Morning Bendigo’

    Local Comedian Finds “Women Can Be Hobos Too” Difficult To Make Into A Joke

    Bendigo Base Bridge Looks Heaps Like The Batman Dark Knight Ka-Boom Hospital Bridge

  • Technology

    Bendigo Health Takes Part In The 10-Year Challenge

    Pizza ATM Opens At Latrobe Uni

    Local Boy Kidsplains To Dad How To Play Fortnite

    Not Lauren Gratis

    VCE Dux Blows Off Law Degree To Become A Full Time YouTuber

    BREAKING: Inventor of Emoticons Dies :(

    City Sends Well Wishes To Woman Quitting Facebook

    Local Man Donates Human Liver To Pig

    Coin-Operated Paywall Failure

    Locals Baffled By Climate Talk

  • Sport

    Kangaroo Sets Sights On Anthony Mundine After Enrolling In Boxing Class

    Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record

    Carlton Currently Undefeated In 2019

    Man ln Intensive Care After Refusing To Stop Saying ‘Nice Garry’ At The MCG

    Bendigo Brave American Import Scores On The Court And At Star Bar

    Gareth From The Office Wins Ballon d’or

    Local Man Ditches Mates To Watch Tim Cahill’s Last Game On A Superior Screen

    Pantomime Horse Wins Bendigo Cup AND Fashions On The Field

    The Bendigo Cup Form Guide

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Possessed Pothole In Napier St Roadworks Swallows Man’s Car

by Mike Elliott
December 17, 2018
in Bendigo News

A man drowned after a possessed pothole swallowed his car and spat it back out last night.

The man was travelling along the Napier St upgrade when the road opened up and digested the man and his car. He failed to slow down and see the giant hole in time.

A woman passing by found the wreck on the side of the road with a complete skeleton of the man the car was stripped down to it’s chassis. Fortunately the man was still wearing his seat belt. “It’s like the road digested him and the car and spat out his bones” said the woman.

Neighbours said “I heard thunder that sounded like a burp.”

Bendigo council is perplexed about what to do as the pothole is alive. Local priests have been asked to perform an exorcism to prevent this tragic accident from happening again. Doctors have also suggested dropping a ton of Milanta into to hole from a helicopter.

A construction worker said “This isn’t the first time, that’s why it’s taking so long to finish the road.”

Bendigo Council is recommends everyone takes caution and care driving past the pothole and to not upset the giant hole.

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Comments 1

  1. Bon G Ully says:
    2 months ago

    I’d say other parts of Bendigo have pot holes, and ice dens…

    Reply

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This Just In

  • Local Man Gets Life Advice From A Maccas French Fry Giving A Thumbs Up
  • Record January Temperatures Cause Sharp Spike in Bad Valentines Cards
  • Lamington Drive To Fund The Completion Of The Murphy Street Roundabout
  • Chinese Dragons To Be Sewn Together Into A ‘Dragon Centipede’ For Easter Festival
  • 82-Year-Old Lost On School Excursion Emerges From Mine After 67 Years
  • Parking Not Fine. Mayor Receives Ticket Outside Council Office
  • Your Horoscope – Week Of February 11, 2019
  • Australia Has Decided! Fat Cat And Patsy Biscoe To Represent Australia In Eurovision
  • Man Held Hostage At Work
  • Studies Show First-Born’s Are Better Drivers Than Their Younger Siblings

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