A month long investigation by the Bendigo Standard has uncovered the truth about Lord Mayor Rod Fyffe’s hair (pictured).
It is not made of brush wire, electric sparks, or zany ideas, as has often been expected.
The hair is in fact pre-recooked instant noodles, plugged into a skull cap much like a wig but with far less horse hair.
The revelation was made when packets upon packets of Instant Noodles were delivered to Lord Mayor Fyffe’s home address by accident, rather than the local Ashley and Martin where most wigs are bought these days.
Initial suspicion began when what was assumed to be dandruff scattering around the Lord Mayor’s robes was identified as noodle crumbs, and rather than being a sloppy cook it was suggested that the Lord Mayor’s hair is made of the stuff.
Sauces close to the hair (get it? sauces!) declined to confirm or deny the allegation, yet the Bendigo Standard has this assertion on reliable authority.
This discovery poses many questions, such as what happens when it rains and is he using locally made noodles or buy a cheap imported alternative?
The City of Greater Bendigo was not contacted for comment.
by Luke Morris.