• Home
  • Our History
  • Contact
  • Random
Wednesday, March 3, 2021
13 °c
Bendigo
Bendigo Standard News
  • News
    • All
    • Bendigo News
    • Law & Order
    • National News
    • Politics
    • World News

    Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time

    Trump Hires Sweaty Law Expert Dennis Denuto

    Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Church Of Scientology Brings Love To Universal Nightclub

    Bendigo Council’s Self Respect Discovered Under Rubble

  • Bendi-Life
    • All
    • Fashion
    • Health
    • Horoscopes
    • Humans of Bendigo
    • Money
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
    • Travel
    • What's On

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Council Shuts Down 6 Year Old’s Marijuana Stand For Not Having A Permit

    Dan Andrews Reveals Ring Of Steel Is Just A Giant Egg Ring

    Melbournians Urged to Stay The Fork Away From Bendigo

    Moama Man Drives To Dubbo Dan Murphy’s After Being Denied Entry To Echuca

    Bendigo Airport Offers Fake Flights For Sydney-Starved Tourists

    Local COVID-19 Patients Quarantined On Lake Tom Thumb Island

  • Entertainment
    • All
    • Movies
    • Music
    • TV

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Grown Adult Still Traumatised By Faceless Doll In 90’s Kids Show

    Brendan Fraser Signs On For “Pre-Covid Man”

    10 Albums That Impacted The Bendigo Standard

    Dad Refers To Groovin The Moo As ‘Groovin To The Moo’

    Bendi-Con Cosplayer Dressed As Dr Manhattan Arrested By Police, Told To Put Pants On

    Channel 10 Begins Filming I’m From Bong Gully… Get Me Out Of Here ya ****!

    Tramspotting Screening at the Star Cinema

    Great Scott! Rod Fyffe Cast As Doc Brown In Upcoming Back To The Future Remake

  • Food + Drink

    Hoarder Cocktail Night Recipes: Hand Sanitizer And Cola, And More

    Hoarder Fashion: Pasta Necklaces Are In This Year!!!!

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    Darrell Lea To Release The Taste Of Bendigo

    Local Man Gives Three Thumbs Up To Bendigo’s Smallest Parma

    Local Man Fired For Putting Communal Sauce In The Fridge

    Local Man Discovers You Can’t Get Naked At Get Naked Espresso Bar

    “Babyccino’s Are Gateway to Caffeine Addiction” Says Local Mum

    Is Buddy Giving Two Up Yours or Two Thumbs Up? You Be The Judge

  • Technology

    5G Causes Tim Reuben To Leave Hit FM

    Parents On Laptops Complain About Kids On Tablets

    COVIDsafe App Not As Fun or Security Flawed As FaceApp

    Zoom Replaces Excel As Most Hated Workplace App

    Cat Fails To Search For Coronavirus Cure

    Local Man Records Sound Of Fart

    Local Man creates Bendigo Have Your Say app

    Local unsure if ‘Bendigo Lifts 4 Cash’ is for drug deals or booty calls

    Local Influencers Apply For Centrelink After Instagram Goes Down

  • Sport

    Most Complicated Hopscotch Ever Produced

    Anakin Skywalker Declares Coronavirus Is “Not Podracing”

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    AFL Suggests Putting Zip Ties On Your Helmet To Prevent Magpie Attacks During Finals

    Hawthorn Announces New Mascots

    Right Up Your Alley: S#!*ty Bowling Launches In Bendigo

    Kangaroo Sets Sights On Anthony Mundine After Enrolling In Boxing Class

    Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record

    Carlton Currently Undefeated In 2019

No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • All
    • Bendigo News
    • Law & Order
    • National News
    • Politics
    • World News

    Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time

    Trump Hires Sweaty Law Expert Dennis Denuto

    Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Church Of Scientology Brings Love To Universal Nightclub

    Bendigo Council’s Self Respect Discovered Under Rubble

  • Bendi-Life
    • All
    • Fashion
    • Health
    • Horoscopes
    • Humans of Bendigo
    • Money
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
    • Travel
    • What's On

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Council Shuts Down 6 Year Old’s Marijuana Stand For Not Having A Permit

    Dan Andrews Reveals Ring Of Steel Is Just A Giant Egg Ring

    Melbournians Urged to Stay The Fork Away From Bendigo

    Moama Man Drives To Dubbo Dan Murphy’s After Being Denied Entry To Echuca

    Bendigo Airport Offers Fake Flights For Sydney-Starved Tourists

    Local COVID-19 Patients Quarantined On Lake Tom Thumb Island

  • Entertainment
    • All
    • Movies
    • Music
    • TV

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Grown Adult Still Traumatised By Faceless Doll In 90’s Kids Show

    Brendan Fraser Signs On For “Pre-Covid Man”

    10 Albums That Impacted The Bendigo Standard

    Dad Refers To Groovin The Moo As ‘Groovin To The Moo’

    Bendi-Con Cosplayer Dressed As Dr Manhattan Arrested By Police, Told To Put Pants On

    Channel 10 Begins Filming I’m From Bong Gully… Get Me Out Of Here ya ****!

    Tramspotting Screening at the Star Cinema

    Great Scott! Rod Fyffe Cast As Doc Brown In Upcoming Back To The Future Remake

  • Food + Drink

    Hoarder Cocktail Night Recipes: Hand Sanitizer And Cola, And More

    Hoarder Fashion: Pasta Necklaces Are In This Year!!!!

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    Darrell Lea To Release The Taste Of Bendigo

    Local Man Gives Three Thumbs Up To Bendigo’s Smallest Parma

    Local Man Fired For Putting Communal Sauce In The Fridge

    Local Man Discovers You Can’t Get Naked At Get Naked Espresso Bar

    “Babyccino’s Are Gateway to Caffeine Addiction” Says Local Mum

    Is Buddy Giving Two Up Yours or Two Thumbs Up? You Be The Judge

  • Technology

    5G Causes Tim Reuben To Leave Hit FM

    Parents On Laptops Complain About Kids On Tablets

    COVIDsafe App Not As Fun or Security Flawed As FaceApp

    Zoom Replaces Excel As Most Hated Workplace App

    Cat Fails To Search For Coronavirus Cure

    Local Man Records Sound Of Fart

    Local Man creates Bendigo Have Your Say app

    Local unsure if ‘Bendigo Lifts 4 Cash’ is for drug deals or booty calls

    Local Influencers Apply For Centrelink After Instagram Goes Down

  • Sport

    Most Complicated Hopscotch Ever Produced

    Anakin Skywalker Declares Coronavirus Is “Not Podracing”

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    AFL Suggests Putting Zip Ties On Your Helmet To Prevent Magpie Attacks During Finals

    Hawthorn Announces New Mascots

    Right Up Your Alley: S#!*ty Bowling Launches In Bendigo

    Kangaroo Sets Sights On Anthony Mundine After Enrolling In Boxing Class

    Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record

    Carlton Currently Undefeated In 2019

The Bendigo Standard
No Result
View All Result

The Bendigo Cup Form Guide

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
October 31, 2018
in Bendigo News, Sport

It’s the race that stops a regional Victorian municipality, as Bendigo people, desperate for some excuse to get into their finest garments and piss-on like Uni students, watch horses be whipped and forced to run around an oval as entertainment.

To help your day, here’s the Bendigo Standard’s view on the nags:

  1. Patrick Erin (NZ) (13) – Performance art gone too far as Patrick and Erin are two people inside a horse suit.

  2. Dal Harraild (GB) (10) – Performance art gone one step further, as Dal is one geezer inside a horse suit holding stilts.

  3. Lord Fandango (GER) (11) – Doing it for a dare, and probably drunk on scotch, Lord Fandango is going to dance the full course inside a horse suit.

  4. Sir Charles Road (4) – Sir Charles is with Lord Fandango for emotional support. (Not wearing a horse suit.)

  5. Sir Isaac Newton (GB) (2) – Been dead for several years. Amazing effort to get this far.

  6. Furrion (GB) (9) – A type of trough the NBN is drilling to put cables in.

  7. Master of Arts (NZ) (3) – Sounds better than a degree but still worthless.

  8. Happy Moment (JPN) (6) – Oh yes. Remember when you were six and you blew out your birthday candles for the first-time without help? This is an incarnation of that memory, vaporizer and shoved inside a horse suit.

  9. Berisha (15) – Still a fan favourite but past his prime. Pulling good money in the J-League.

  10. Ormito (GER) (5) – The Japanese art of forgetting crucial details during a testimony.

  11. Red Alto (12) – An octave above the blue alto saxophone. Used for when you want to get sexy.

  12. Rezealient (7) – American spelling of resilient.

  13. Dandy Gent (14) – Performance art gone bad as Dandy has been stitched inside a horse suit and the male horses (aka colts) have found the one opening.

  14. Barry the Baptist (1)  – Not as famous as John, Paul, George or Ringo.

  15. Sasko (8) – A giant, hairy, up-right, walking, ape-like creature that plays cricket for Bendigo East. Handy left-arm pace. Not likely to trouble the scorers with the bat.

Share6Tweet
Previous Post

Local Man Gets Arm Replaced With Claw Machine Claw

Next Post

Pantomime Horse Wins Bendigo Cup AND Fashions On The Field

Related Posts

Bendigo News

Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form

March 2, 2021
Bendigo News

Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

February 18, 2021
Bendigo News

Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

February 17, 2021
Bendigo News

Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time

February 17, 2021

Trump Hires Sweaty Law Expert Dennis Denuto

November 30, 2020

Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”

November 3, 2020
Load More

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

This Just In

  • Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form
  • Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations
  • Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself
  • Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time
  • Trump Hires Sweaty Law Expert Dennis Denuto
  • Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”
  • Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum
  • Church Of Scientology Brings Love To Universal Nightclub
  • Bendigo Council’s Self Respect Discovered Under Rubble
  • Mask Horror! Eaglehawk Woman Sets Own Face On Fire Lighting A Durry
Facebook Twitter Instagram

The Bendigo Standard

About Us

The Bendigo Standard is Bendigo's most popular free news service.

We pride ourselves in reporting the news that matters, doesn't matter and the news you didn't realise mattered until you read it.

Subscribe And Win At Life

Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2020 The Bendigo Standard

No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Bendi-Life
  • Entertainment
  • Food + Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Our History
  • Contact
  • Shop
  • Random
  • Suggestion Box

© 2020 The Bendigo Standard