A Bendigo Man has undergone the world’s first Butthole transplant after a dare involving KFC Wicked Wings went wrong.
Jeff Wearmouth was dared by his mates to see how many KFC Wicked Wings he could eat in a row. He complained of stomach pains and sweating after he ate 45 wings. Shortly after consuming his 50th, a fart caused his butthole to explode. Cleaners were called to clean up the mess and remove pieces of sphincter and colon from Bendigo KFC. The man was flown to Bendigo Health. Unfortunately his sphincter nor colon could not be saved due to intensive laceration damage. His mates are presumed missing.
Surgeons put a call out to bullies on Bendigo Have Your Say to find a suitable ‘A-hole Donor’. Within minutes, doctors were flooded with abuse from strangers telling them where to go. Fortunately, this made the donor selection easy.
The surgeons completed a 15 hour marathon Sphincterotomy to replace a broken anus. Doctors are calling it a miracle. During the surgery doctors discovered a couple of Lego he lost when he was 5, 20 cents he accidentally swallowed when he was 8 and a USB thumb drive containing movie downloads.
Mr Wearmouth returns to his job next week as a Tour Guide at the Central Deborah Gold Mine.