• Home
  • Our History
  • Patreon
  • Store
  • Contact
  • Random Story
Saturday, May 21 2022
8 °c
Bendigo
9 ° Fri
10 ° Sat
13 ° Sun
15 ° Mon
18 ° Tue
19 ° Wed
The Bendigo Standard
  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
  • Food & Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
  • Food & Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
The Bendigo Standard
No Result
View All Result

Young Girl Trapped Inside Cage to Celebrate the Coming of Summer

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
30 October 2018
in Bendigo News

“Isn’t it wonderful, with the spring, and flowers, and warmer weather. It just makes you want to dress in black and kill things,” said Ian Grey, 41, Flora Hill.

It’s that time of year again when primary school teachers give-up and look for easy options.

“I’ve decided this year to make it a test,” said Mr Grey, who works at Flora Hill Primary School, this is despite attempts by the Department of Corrections to stop him, but you know what bureaucratic red tape is like, I mean, gosh, what a nightmare it is just getting a Medicare rebate, nevermind getting a fifteen year prison sentence for non-aggravated child torture recognised by a school board.

So this year, like every year, Mr Grey is making his class cut out scary images of bats, and witches, and pumpkins.

“It’s the wrong time of year for pumpkins, ha!, ha!, so all the pictures are rotten and mouldy,” said Mr Grey.

Also, there’s the evil witches, who can be seen carrying household cleaning devices and cooking.

“Fear the stereotype of women doing domesticated duties,” said Mr Grey. “Or as we say, DEMON-esticated,” and he laughs to himself.

As punishment for drawing outside the lines or believing the improved weather conditions is a good time to celebrate life rather than be mischievous about death, Mr Grey is locking errant children in his cage.

“Yes, and I don’t tell their parents,” said Mr Grey. “Or feed the children for three days.”

Ha, ha, ha, what a marvellous All Hallows’ Eve prank.

Share20Tweet8ShareShareSend

More From The Bendigo Standard

Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize

Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize

Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence

Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence

Let’s Make A Toasted Cheese Sandwich

Let’s Make A Toasted Cheese Sandwich

Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell

Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell

BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench

BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench

Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200

Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200

Load More
Please login to join discussion

Sign Up

News you can trust, delivered straight to your inbox.

Merch Store Merch Store Merch Store

This Just In

Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize
Bendigo News

Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize

Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence
Bendigo News

Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence

Let’s Make A Toasted Cheese Sandwich
Recipes

Let’s Make A Toasted Cheese Sandwich

Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell
Bendigo News

Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell

BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench
Law & Order

BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench

Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200
Bendigo News

Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200

Facebook Twitter Instagram

The Bendigo Standard

About Us

The Bendigo Standard is Bendigo's most popular free news service.

We pride ourselves in reporting the news that matters, doesn't matter and the news you didn't realise mattered until you read it.

Subscribe And Win At Life

Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
  • Food & Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Opinion

© 2022 The Bendigo Standard