“Isn’t it wonderful, with the spring, and flowers, and warmer weather. It just makes you want to dress in black and kill things,” said Ian Grey, 41, Flora Hill.

It’s that time of year again when primary school teachers give-up and look for easy options.

“I’ve decided this year to make it a test,” said Mr Grey, who works at Flora Hill Primary School, this is despite attempts by the Department of Corrections to stop him, but you know what bureaucratic red tape is like, I mean, gosh, what a nightmare it is just getting a Medicare rebate, nevermind getting a fifteen year prison sentence for non-aggravated child torture recognised by a school board.

So this year, like every year, Mr Grey is making his class cut out scary images of bats, and witches, and pumpkins.

“It’s the wrong time of year for pumpkins, ha!, ha!, so all the pictures are rotten and mouldy,” said Mr Grey.

Also, there’s the evil witches, who can be seen carrying household cleaning devices and cooking.

“Fear the stereotype of women doing domesticated duties,” said Mr Grey. “Or as we say, DEMON-esticated,” and he laughs to himself.

As punishment for drawing outside the lines or believing the improved weather conditions is a good time to celebrate life rather than be mischievous about death, Mr Grey is locking errant children in his cage.

“Yes, and I don’t tell their parents,” said Mr Grey. “Or feed the children for three days.”

Ha, ha, ha, what a marvellous All Hallows’ Eve prank.