How do we fix this sell-out toilet paper situation?

Remind the idiots to take their shits at work like a normal person.

Those are paid shits.

Paid shits!

Why miss out on that?

I know this guy who was late to work one day because he was having sex.

His boss was technically paying him to root.

He boasted about that for a fortnight.

If you’re not a sex worker by choice or by incidental timing of events, then at least get some paid shits under your belt.

It’s common sense.

Jesus.