It was relaunched in 2009 as Westpac sort to cash in on a sense of “local” that pinko, green-o, communists of Melbourne claim to love – while eating New Zealand truffles and drinking Cambodian coffee.

Since then the Bank of Melbourne has done sweet bugger all.

Pretty much.

Squat.

Nudda.

Who are you?

Keep walking buddy.

Meanwhile the Bendigo Bank, a subsidiary of Claude Investment Opportunities, has gone from strength to strength.

Smashing it.

Heaps good.

POW!

POW!

POW!

Case closed.