• Home
  • Our History
  • Patreon
  • Store
  • Contact
  • Random Story
Wednesday, May 18 2022
8 °c
Bendigo
9 ° Fri
10 ° Sat
13 ° Sun
15 ° Mon
18 ° Tue
19 ° Wed
The Bendigo Standard
  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
  • Food & Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
  • Food & Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
The Bendigo Standard
No Result
View All Result

Father’s Day Annoys Adopted Child of Gay Couple

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
2 September 2016
in National News

“What the frig,” says Benjamin Law. “I got to get two Black & Decker orbital saws now!”

Born in a ditch and adopted by Herbert and Steve Law – who are not brothers, one of them changed his surname, and they’ve had a civil union, and legally they’re allowed to adopt as a couple, and they can file a tax return together, so seriously, this gay marriage thing… they are totally over it – Benjamin Law can only see a glass half empty to this Father’s Day malarkey.

“Herb Dad wants breakfast in bed, but he can forget that, and Steve Dad wants something from school, like some macaroni in the shape of a boat glued to a bit of cardboard, but he can forget that too, they’re both getting orbital saws,” says Benjamin.

The origin of Father’s Day can be traced to the Feast of Saint Joseph, who was the kind-of stepfather to Christian faith’s Jesus – since Saint Joseph paid the bills and raised the kid before Jesus grew up and went off claiming lots of things about his “real” Father.

“I’ve saved pocket money all year and now they’re going to wipe me out in one day,” says Benjamin.

In Europe the Father’s Day celebration occurs early March, coinciding with the start of spring, but in Australia and other Oceania countries it happen about six months later, coinciding with the start of spring.

“One of them could get a sex change and pace out this gift giving at Mother’s Day, but no, they’re happy just the way they are, apparently,” says Benjamin.

The YMCA helped promote Father’s Day, and it gained momentum in America in the 1930s when manufacturers of ties, tobacco pipes, orbital saws and probably shot guns, decided that honouring the parental influence of fathers was a winning idea.

“At least I should get two Bunnings Snags out of this,” says Benjamin.

Australian’s have been slow off the mark with buying stuff for Dads, mostly because of a sexist resistance males have to receiving flowers, perfume and jewellery – but if that guy who sells the six pack wraparound stubby holder’s at Christmas got his turf together, well, look out!

“My Dads want to go to the lake and have a nice family lunch, but I want to go paint balling and use orbital saws on playground equipment,” says Benjamin.

Well, at least it’s only one party a year to worry about.

Share8Tweet5ShareShareSend

More From The Bendigo Standard

Overly Excited Local Man Won’t Shut Up About His Weber

Overly Excited Local Man Won’t Shut Up About His Weber

Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record

Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record

Local Cows Respond By Cooking Deconstructed Human Sausages

Local Cows Respond By Cooking Deconstructed Human Sausages

Local Man Angry There’s No Bunnings In Eaglehawk

Bunnings To Put The Bizzle In Deconstructed Sausage Sizzles

Lynx Releases Smell Of Bendigo Creek

Lynx Releases Smell Of Bendigo Creek

Local Man Angry There’s No Bunnings In Eaglehawk

TAFE To Offer Course On How To Eat A Bunnings Snag

Load More
Please login to join discussion

Sign Up

News you can trust, delivered straight to your inbox.

Merch Store Merch Store Merch Store

This Just In

Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize
Bendigo News

Local 5-Year-Old’s Drawing Of Mummy Farting Misses Out On Archibald Prize

Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence
Bendigo News

Talking Tram Takes A Vow Of Silence

Let’s Make A Toasted Cheese Sandwich
Recipes

Let’s Make A Toasted Cheese Sandwich

Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell
Bendigo News

Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell

BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench
Law & Order

BREAKING! Keys Missing 3 Days Ago Found On Kitchen Bench

Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200
Bendigo News

Bendigo Resident Mildred Hussy Turns 200

Facebook Twitter Instagram

The Bendigo Standard

About Us

The Bendigo Standard is Bendigo's most popular free news service.

We pride ourselves in reporting the news that matters, doesn't matter and the news you didn't realise mattered until you read it.

Subscribe And Win At Life

Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
  • Food & Drink
  • Technology
  • Sport
  • Opinion

© 2022 The Bendigo Standard