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    These are wheelie bins.

    Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins

    Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time

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    Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

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    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

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    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Council Shuts Down 6 Year Old’s Marijuana Stand For Not Having A Permit

    Dan Andrews Reveals Ring Of Steel Is Just A Giant Egg Ring

    Melbournians Urged to Stay The Fork Away From Bendigo

    Moama Man Drives To Dubbo Dan Murphy’s After Being Denied Entry To Echuca

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    Brendan Fraser Signs On For “Pre-Covid Man”

    10 Albums That Impacted The Bendigo Standard

    Dad Refers To Groovin The Moo As ‘Groovin To The Moo’

    Bendi-Con Cosplayer Dressed As Dr Manhattan Arrested By Police, Told To Put Pants On

    Channel 10 Begins Filming I’m From Bong Gully… Get Me Out Of Here ya ****!

    Tramspotting Screening at the Star Cinema

    Great Scott! Rod Fyffe Cast As Doc Brown In Upcoming Back To The Future Remake

  • Food + Drink

    Hoarder Cocktail Night Recipes: Hand Sanitizer And Cola, And More

    Hoarder Fashion: Pasta Necklaces Are In This Year!!!!

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    Darrell Lea To Release The Taste Of Bendigo

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    Local Man Fired For Putting Communal Sauce In The Fridge

    Local Man Discovers You Can’t Get Naked At Get Naked Espresso Bar

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    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    AFL Suggests Putting Zip Ties On Your Helmet To Prevent Magpie Attacks During Finals

    Hawthorn Announces New Mascots

    Right Up Your Alley: S#!*ty Bowling Launches In Bendigo

    Kangaroo Sets Sights On Anthony Mundine After Enrolling In Boxing Class

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    Carlton Currently Undefeated In 2019

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Father’s Day Annoys Adopted Child of Gay Couple

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
September 2, 2016
in National News

“What the frig,” says Benjamin Law. “I got to get two Black & Decker orbital saws now!”

Born in a ditch and adopted by Herbert and Steve Law – who are not brothers, one of them changed his surname, and they’ve had a civil union, and legally they’re allowed to adopt as a couple, and they can file a tax return together, so seriously, this gay marriage thing… they are totally over it – Benjamin Law can only see a glass half empty to this Father’s Day malarkey.

“Herb Dad wants breakfast in bed, but he can forget that, and Steve Dad wants something from school, like some macaroni in the shape of a boat glued to a bit of cardboard, but he can forget that too, they’re both getting orbital saws,” says Benjamin.

The origin of Father’s Day can be traced to the Feast of Saint Joseph, who was the kind-of stepfather to Christian faith’s Jesus – since Saint Joseph paid the bills and raised the kid before Jesus grew up and went off claiming lots of things about his “real” Father.

“I’ve saved pocket money all year and now they’re going to wipe me out in one day,” says Benjamin.

In Europe the Father’s Day celebration occurs early March, coinciding with the start of spring, but in Australia and other Oceania countries it happen about six months later, coinciding with the start of spring.

“One of them could get a sex change and pace out this gift giving at Mother’s Day, but no, they’re happy just the way they are, apparently,” says Benjamin.

The YMCA helped promote Father’s Day, and it gained momentum in America in the 1930s when manufacturers of ties, tobacco pipes, orbital saws and probably shot guns, decided that honouring the parental influence of fathers was a winning idea.

“At least I should get two Bunnings Snags out of this,” says Benjamin.

Australian’s have been slow off the mark with buying stuff for Dads, mostly because of a sexist resistance males have to receiving flowers, perfume and jewellery – but if that guy who sells the six pack wraparound stubby holder’s at Christmas got his turf together, well, look out!

“My Dads want to go to the lake and have a nice family lunch, but I want to go paint balling and use orbital saws on playground equipment,” says Benjamin.

Well, at least it’s only one party a year to worry about.

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  • Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins
  • Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form
  • Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations
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