This week we turn the Bendigo Standard election spotlight onto the Make Bendigo Great Again Party.
Run by Nobby Head, 72, of Kangaroo Flat, the group aims to restore Bendigo to the glory days.
“I remember as a child being able to pan for gold in the gutters after a decent rain, and we’d make a few quid too, at least enough to pay for our comic books and Fags – the lollies mind you, it wasn’t until I was fifteen that I got onto the real gaspers, cor I don’t suppose that was a gateway drug do you think, I used to drink a raspberry lemonade with my Pop at the bar, that was until I got old enough to pass for 16 and have a beer, you don’t think that had anything to do with Marjory leaving me do you?” said Mr Head.
The goals of the Make Bendigo Great Again Party are quite simple.
“We want to bring back the gold rush, there’s plenty of colour under everyone’s houses, why not subsidise some mining courses so all these stay at home Mums and Dads – I hear that’s a thing these days, Dads at home, not just free-loafing but actually looking after the kids because their wife makes the squid, if that’s such a thing, anyway, give everyone the means and ends to dig up their backyard and make a few extra bob that they can put back into the community. Imagine having a few mining experts popping around with a pick and shovel and pulling out a lump of gold, it could happen, house prices will sore, we’d have an influx of new residents, it’s be boom times again, but no Asians, and we’d put gas lanterns back in the streets,” said Mr Head.
Along with sprinkling gold in gutters, lax smoking and alcohol legislation, a backyard gold mining free-for-all, and the White Australia Policy, Mr Head has other ideas.
“We’re going to make children wear a shirt and tie to class, none of this plain clothes day and open neck poppycock, the country has gone downhill since we reduced standards and it’s time standards were reintroduced to Australia, starting with Bendigo, and I don’t know about you but the cane never did me any harm, well, welts don’t last long and you really earn respect for the Sisters when they can wallop their way through a whole class without missing a beat, gosh those were the days,” said Mr Head.
Voting ends on Saturday.
Y
es Nobby, I remember Marjorie leaving you, you old soak. Ran off with your brother Dick. Not the brightest chap, but a non drinker
Anyone who says “gosh” ala the Brady Bunch has my vote. I’d go one step further and place all kids with snot dangling from their nose into a juvenile prison. Tough but necessary.