By Larry the Sheep, Guest Columnist
Listen up, Bendigo! Garry the Sheep here, straight from a local animal farm, and I’ve got a bone to pick with all you petting zoo critics out there. You wanna phase out petting zoos? Really? What’s next, banning breathing?
I’ve heard the chatter. “Oh, it’s not natural for animals to be in petting zoos.” Well, guess what, genius? Neither is binge-watching reality TV for 12 hours straight, but you don’t see me trying to shut down your living rooms.
Let’s get one thing straight: I love kids. Those sticky little fingers scratching behind my ears? Heaven. The excitement on their faces when they see a real-life lamb for the first time? Priceless. Do you think I want to give that up to spend my days chewing grass and staring at the same old fence? Give me a break.
I’ve heard some of you claim it’s stressful for us. Yeah, because being loved, fed, and pampered is such a nightmare. Have you ever been petted by a toddler? It’s like getting a free massage from someone who thinks you’re the cutest thing on four legs. I’m practically living at a day spa.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the “educational” argument. You want your kids to learn about animals from a book or a screen? Good luck with that. Nothing beats the real deal. When a kid meets me in the wool, they learn about animals, empathy, and that not all sheep are mindless followers. Some of us have strong opinions, thank you very much.
You people want to take that experience away? For what? To protect my feelings? I’m a sheep, not a porcelain doll. I’m tougher than I look. Plus, without petting zoos, where are you gonna witness a chicken outsmarting a toddler?
So, here’s my message to all you anti-petting zoo crusaders: get over yourselves. Let us animals do what we do best—bring joy to kids and remind you adults that sometimes, the simple things in life are the best. You don’t need to overthink it.
I’m Larry the Sheep, and I’m not going anywhere. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some ear scratches to attend to.
Stay woolly, Bendigo.
