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BREAKING: Council To Repair Roads That Actually Don’t Needed Fixing

The Bendigo Council has committed $5,000,000 to repair roads that don’t need fixing.

“We’re planning in 6 months to rip up and redo the roundabout at the bottom of Murphy St,” a council spokesperson said. “We started redoing Maiden Gully Road in Maiden Gully even though it was fine; we just thought we could do better. We can’t help demolishing and rebuilding stuff. Didn’t you see Lego Masters?”

North Bendigo resident Gerald Fitzgerald said, “They changed the roads in the CBD and chucked in a 40 km speed limit because there are too many morons doing mains. They ruined it for all of us.”

His neighbour John Bubbletap-McCoy said, “At least the unnecessary roadworks are not as bad as the Lansell Plaza carpark or whatever it is now.”

Future roadworks include the Arnold Street intersection, the entire Eaglehawk Road, Sandhurst Road, Midland Highway in Huntly, and a few small streets that no one drives down.

At the moment, it’s the City of Not-Bad Bendigo or even the City of Pretty Good Bendigo. Only when the roadworks are done will it become the City of Greater Bendigo.

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