In a groundbreaking press conference today, NASA unveiled its audacious new mission. The plan involves sending billionaire Elon Musk to Mars and, as the official mission statement describes, “just leaving him there.”
Dubbed “Operation Fuck Off” in leaked documents, the plan has garnered overwhelming public support. “We see this as a win-win,” said a NASA spokesperson. “Elon gets to live his dream of colonising Mars, and Earth gets some much-needed peace.”
When asked what Musk would do on Mars, a NASA spokesperson shrugged, “He can yell into the void or build a Tesla out of Martian rocks. We don’t give a shit.”
NASA assured the public that Musk would be provided essential supplies: a flamethrower, Dogecoin, and a lifetime subscription to X Premium.
The mission is scheduled for late 2025.
Godspeed, Elon.