AFL Suggests Putting Zip Ties On Your Helmet To Prevent Magpie Attacks During Finals

The AFL has urged supporters to be vigilant this magpie season.

Magpies traditionally become “highly aggressive” during finals season, from late August to late September.

The AFL has suggested putting zip ties on bike helmets to prevent attacks. “It should be enough to deter them.”

AFL spokesperson Victor Alfa-Romeo said, “Science has proven that playing the West Coast Eagles team song just makes them angrier. Stick some zip ties on your helmet instead.”

The public is urged not to approach or spook supporters.

Here are some other tactics to avoid being swooped:

  • Travel in groups, as magpies usually only target individuals.
  • Avoid making eye contact, especially in Centrelink or at the Calder Outbound Maccas after a game.
  • Do not act aggressively. If you wave your arms about or shout obscenities, the magpies will see you as a threat.
  • Do not automatically assume everyone’s mother or grandmother is a magpie.
  • Do not remind them of previous Grand Final losses, especially not the 1960, ’64, ’66, ’70, ’77, ’79, ’80, ’81, ’90, 2002, ’03, ’11, or 2018 Grand Finals.

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