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    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

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  • News
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    These are wheelie bins.

    Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins

    Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Busker Ready To Revive Coles Busking Scene For The Third Time

    Trump Hires Sweaty Law Expert Dennis Denuto

    Bendigo Council Elections A Shambles. America: “Hold My Beer”

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Church Of Scientology Brings Love To Universal Nightclub

  • Bendi-Life
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    • What's On

    Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations

    Bendigo TattsLotto Winner Decides To Fix Hargreaves Mall Himself

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Council Shuts Down 6 Year Old’s Marijuana Stand For Not Having A Permit

    Dan Andrews Reveals Ring Of Steel Is Just A Giant Egg Ring

    Melbournians Urged to Stay The Fork Away From Bendigo

    Moama Man Drives To Dubbo Dan Murphy’s After Being Denied Entry To Echuca

    Bendigo Airport Offers Fake Flights For Sydney-Starved Tourists

    Local COVID-19 Patients Quarantined On Lake Tom Thumb Island

  • Entertainment
    • All
    • Movies
    • Music
    • TV

    Scottish Vets Neuter Prime Possum

    Grown Adult Still Traumatised By Faceless Doll In 90’s Kids Show

    Brendan Fraser Signs On For “Pre-Covid Man”

    10 Albums That Impacted The Bendigo Standard

    Dad Refers To Groovin The Moo As ‘Groovin To The Moo’

    Bendi-Con Cosplayer Dressed As Dr Manhattan Arrested By Police, Told To Put Pants On

    Channel 10 Begins Filming I’m From Bong Gully… Get Me Out Of Here ya ****!

    Tramspotting Screening at the Star Cinema

    Great Scott! Rod Fyffe Cast As Doc Brown In Upcoming Back To The Future Remake

  • Food + Drink

    Hoarder Cocktail Night Recipes: Hand Sanitizer And Cola, And More

    Hoarder Fashion: Pasta Necklaces Are In This Year!!!!

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    Darrell Lea To Release The Taste Of Bendigo

    Local Man Gives Three Thumbs Up To Bendigo’s Smallest Parma

    Local Man Fired For Putting Communal Sauce In The Fridge

    Local Man Discovers You Can’t Get Naked At Get Naked Espresso Bar

    “Babyccino’s Are Gateway to Caffeine Addiction” Says Local Mum

    Is Buddy Giving Two Up Yours or Two Thumbs Up? You Be The Judge

  • Technology

    5G Causes Tim Reuben To Leave Hit FM

    Parents On Laptops Complain About Kids On Tablets

    COVIDsafe App Not As Fun or Security Flawed As FaceApp

    Zoom Replaces Excel As Most Hated Workplace App

    Cat Fails To Search For Coronavirus Cure

    Local Man Records Sound Of Fart

    Local Man creates Bendigo Have Your Say app

    Local unsure if ‘Bendigo Lifts 4 Cash’ is for drug deals or booty calls

    Local Influencers Apply For Centrelink After Instagram Goes Down

  • Sport

    Most Complicated Hopscotch Ever Produced

    Anakin Skywalker Declares Coronavirus Is “Not Podracing”

    Local Man To Take Part In Eating In Bed Olympics

    AFL Suggests Putting Zip Ties On Your Helmet To Prevent Magpie Attacks During Finals

    Hawthorn Announces New Mascots

    Right Up Your Alley: S#!*ty Bowling Launches In Bendigo

    Kangaroo Sets Sights On Anthony Mundine After Enrolling In Boxing Class

    Bendigo Trolley Pusher Breaks World Record

    Carlton Currently Undefeated In 2019

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Eddie McGuire Upset as Stand-up Material is Poorly Received

Luke Morris by Luke Morris
June 21, 2016
in National News, Sport

Eddie McGuire, 51, should know better, recently tested material from this upcoming stand-up show, I’m not a Caroline Wilson hater but.., while hosting one of his programs.

“I’ve been in the public eye for a long time,” said McGuire. “Though behind it has always been my love of stand-up.”

Famous for sort-of apologising for alleged racism following the Adam Goodes saga, and alleged sexism during the Jessica Rowe saga, McGuire is keen to add another string to his bow.

“I’ve always looked up to those edgy murder comics. Ted Bundy is an icon in this field. He really killed.”

The test joke gathered some initial support from his immediate vicinity, but was more widely criticised as not being funny.

“It has taken years to form this material,” said McGuire. “The original joke started with hoping Caroline Wilson would get raped and die of cancer, but the pink ribbon brigade would have complained. Then I thought about stabbing her in the neck, but the set up was all wrong, and I wanted her to get AIDS, but obviously the homosexual community would have taken issue that I was demonising an issue they are closely related to.”

McGuire settled on wishing Wilson to be drowned, considering Laurie Lawrence is old and as a spokesperson for safer pools could be easily talked over.

“On its own the joke doesn’t have context, you need to see the whole show to get it, but since we were at an event with a pool I thought I’d throw it out there and see how the material went.”

On paper the gag goes like this; when proposing money be taken for people to be dunked into water for charity, McGuire says of placing Wilson in the water: I’ll put in 10 grand straight away, make it 20. And if she stays under, 50. What do you reckon guys? (wait for applause before adding) Everyone to stand around the outside and bomb her. (sic)

“I was happy with the delivery. I’m just not sure where the failure to connect with the wider audience was. Which is why I issued the statement blaming the wider audience.”

Undeterred McGuire plans to continue his foray into comedy, with the one man show previewing before final dates are set for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival next year.

“The show is basically me on stage for an hour saying that I don’t hate Caroline Wilson, and then mocking her journalism, insulting her integrity, ridiculing her general demeanour, and ending with an outline of how she should die. Most of the material goes back a decade or more. That’s the context you need. It’s much funnier that way. You might have seen some of the stuff on other programs I’ve done. It’s really hot material.”

Tickets are on sale soon.

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  • Eaglehawk Bin Captain Pranks Street By Putting Out Wrong Bins
  • Funko Immortalize Cogho In Pop! Vinyl Form
  • Local Office Worker Who Doesn’t Carry Cash Told He’s A Year Behind In Casual Dress Donations
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