Epsom

Bendigo Is Horny For Roadworks

Local News 15 January 2019 0

It's a known fact that Bendigo loves their roadworks so much in a supermodel or South Australian Firefighter Calendar kinda way. But lately, it been...

Top Ten Places To Vomit In Bendigo

Local News 28 December 2018 0

Outside Mr Bob’s Sports Bar (pictured) One way to match the outside with the inside is to vomit both outside and inside. Even if inside...

“Napier Street Road Works Are God’s Punishment For Allowing The Mosque” Says Local Woman

Local News 4 December 2018 0

Local religious woman Jenny Jacobs announced today on social media that the Napier Street road works are punishment from God for the Bendigo Council...

Locals Fail To Vote After Getting Stuck In Napier St Road Works Traffic Jam

Local News 24 November 2018 0

Thousands of locals were unable to vote today after the Napier St road works caused a traffic jam. People were driving through the road works...

Epsom Road Works Joins Great Wall of China As Only Man Made Structure Visible From The Moon

Local News 16 November 2018 0

The International Space Station has been in contact with the Bendigo Standard. "Я не говорю по-испански," said Russian Vodka, 38, from the Space Station. It seems...

Local Man Gets Arm Replaced With Claw Machine Claw

Local News 30 October 2018 0

An Epsom Man had his left arm amputated last week after it became stuck in a claw machine at Centro Lansell. The man was trying...

Epsom Woman Believes Can of Coke Tastes Better Than Bottle of Coke

Local News 24 September 2018 0

"It's all about the fung shui of the vessel," said Megan Fox, 32, Epsom. As though the glug of a fizzy drink, best known for...

Castlemaine Rock Found in Epsom

Local News 5 September 2018 0

Quick. It's like finding out those women in the creek bed in Kangaroo Flat had stuffed nuggets of gold in their under garments. Pack the bags. Sell...