“Why not?” said project manager Major Coats. “It’s as good as anywhere else. Maybe not better than Adelaide, or, ah,” he pauses to think, “Narr, actually Bendigo’s slightly better than Adelaide I reckon.”
The $1.3b project is planned for the Golden Square area, with a bit to overlap onto Long Gully and some spread to Ironbark, with other parts to be strewn across Bendigo at large if anything goes really wrong.
“Why should anything go wrong?” Asked Major Coats unprovoked. “Look, I mean, sure, whatever, we don’t research like we used to, what with funding cuts and all that. Nowadays it’s all about announce this and rebrand that for marketing. We don’t actually test ideas these days you know.”
Political official Margaret Stooge stepped in to say, “The real focus of this announcement is that there will be hundreds of jobs created.”
“Mostly in China,” advised Major Coats.
“And here,” said Ms Stooge.
“Not really,” Coats.
“Yah haa,” Stooge.
“Narr haa,” Coats.
The announcement comes as both of the main three, or four if you count the Greens (but no-one really counts the Greens except Melbournians), political parties make promises in a shot gun approach to see what will work.
“It could be good for Bendigo,” said Major Coats. “Or it could be a pointless waste of infrastructure far removed from the general population and lacking in relevance. Much like Epsom.”
“You mean Epsom sport grounds,” Stooge.
“Those too,” Coats.
With the rebuilt sports stadium no longer needed for Eurovision in 2017 this could be the injection the Bendigo community needs.