“It got a laugh at a gig,” said comedian Luke Morris, who once read the line ‘Women can be hobos too’ at a comedy night at the Shamrock Hotel, “But each time I try to write it as a routine, it sounds like I’m starting...
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Western Sydney local Miles Simmons has found it is cheaper and quicker from him to fly from Sydney to Bendigo rather than trying to get a car park at Bondi Beach. The 28 year old brick layer loves the Kangaroo Flat swimming hole "I had...
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Sandra Duncan from Eaglehawk has been announced as the first person to purchase a ticket for the new Bendigo to Sydney Qantas flight. She celebrated by getting a tattoo of Amelia Earhart. When asked by The Bendigo Standard why not a tattoo of The Wright...
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Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 Your coworkers are planning your birthday party. But they have the wrong date. • Your life is a series of ups and downs. Like a toilet plunger. • You will fart...
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Vline has announced a new minimalist train service. It will replace its trains with Elmore Miniature Railway Trains during the heat restrictions until March 1. Passengers have been reminded to Slip, Slop, Slap as there is no roof, to 'hold it in' for the whole...
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The Victorian Government has taken drastic measures to enclose Bendigo in a giant glass dome after a man was diagnosed with Man Flu. 36-year-old victim Walter Klobb felt like he died a week ago and has been sick ever since. His symptoms included a cold,...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 You will receive a phone call tonight. Wait for six rings before answering. • The Feds want to talk about your surfing habits • People like you make me sick....
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A Bendigo Man has undergone the world's first Butthole transplant after a dare involving KFC Wicked Wings went wrong. Jeff Wearmouth was dared by his mates to see how many KFC Wicked Wings he could eat in a row. He complained of stomach pains and...
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Yo, isn't it great the Bendigo Standard is giving so many laughs. What's this? You wish you could come see some live stand-up comedy, and donate money to a worthy cause? Well, we're here to help. At the Movember Comedy Fundraiser, $5 from every ticket...
Read moreHere are your Horoscopes for this week. ♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 A drinking problem would make you more interesting. • You're no athlete. Stop kidding yourself. • Baked goods are in abundance. • You will discuss a matter of grave importance with someone...
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