Lifestyle

♓ PISCES You’ll spend the week convincing everyone you're totally fine. No one believes you, but at least you’ve successfully gaslit yourself.

LONG GULLY—A local woman’s dreams of eternal youth have been shattered after realising the Fountain of Youth she discovered was, in fact, the Long...

♓ PISCES February 19 to March 20 You'll be extra sensitive today, and while that's adorable in theory, it isn't enjoyable. Get it together, drama queen.

AQUARIUS January 20 to February 18 Your dreamy, artistic soul is a gift, but unfortunately, rent is due. No, your poem about the moon won’t pay the bills.

In an unexpected legal twist, local primary school student Timmy Baker accidentally initiated a lifelong commitment when he called his teacher "Mum" during class...

AQUARIUS January 20 to February 18 Your emotions will be in overdrive, and every minor inconvenience will feel like the end of the world. Good news: Your friends are used to it. Bad news: They've started a group chat without you. Lucky Colour: Sad, soggy blue – just like your mood when you see old people use Tiktok.

♒ AQUARIUS January 20 to February 18 You're not a visionary; you're just weird. Your "unique" ideas are mostly unhinged, and no one's buying your "I'm just misunderstood" act. Try joining the real world this week. Lucky colour: Tie-dye, because we can't figure out your colour. Maybe go with the colour of your underwear.

In a groundbreaking act of independence, local woman Sarah Benson has boldly decided not to take her husband's last name—primarily because he's imaginary.   While many...

♑ CAPRICORN You're working harder than a hamster on a caffeine drip. You think you're getting somewhere, but really, you're just spinning the wheel. Here's a wild thought: relax. Even a turtle knows when to pull its head back in and take a nap.

In a shocking display of toddler entitlement, Bendigo baby Isabella Harcourt-Smythe has reportedly refused to have her first birthday at McDonald's, claiming it's “beneath...