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Saturday, January 28, 2023

Meteorologist Suggests The Weather Needs To Sort It’s Crap Out

Local Meteorologist Ennis Mildew has said today...

Woman Marries Bendigo Fountain

Last weekend Strathfieldsaye woman Kaley McBall became...

Long Gully Rapper Learns He Ain’t As Cool As He Thought He Was

A 13 year old boy from Long...

Driver Films OnlyFans on Talking Tram Tour

Local Mike Elliott -
Tourists were in for a surprise yesterday when a driver of the popular Talking Tram Tour was caught filming content for her OnlyFans while operating the vehicle.According to witnesses, the driver, who has chosen to remain anonymous, was seen holding up her phone and...

Council Requires Every Driver To Flip The Bird At Intersections

In a bold new measure aimed at reducing road rage and increasing camaraderie among drivers, the City of Greater Bendigo has passed a law requiring all drivers to flip the bird at traffic...

Cambrian Patron Is Actually 3 Kids In A Trench Coat Pretending To Be An Adult

A patron at the Cambrian Hotel, who goes by the name of "Jeff," has been exposed as three children in a trench coat pretending to be an adult. According to eyewitnesses, the group of...

Long Gully Splash Park Doubles As A Urine Recycling Centre

In a move that has both shocked and impressed local residents, the Long Gully Splash Park has been secretly doubling as a urine recycling centre.According to park officials, the...

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Music

Bendigo Coles Only Playing ‘All I Want For Christmas’ For The Next 8 Weeks

It's that time to deck the halls... again when Mariah Carey appears in your Spotify playlist. Resident Coles turntablist DJ Gully told The Bendigo Standard they will be playing 'All I want for Christmas' on...
Relationships

Nauseatingly Insufferable Couple Pose In Front Of The Bendigo Sign

An annoyingly happy couple were spotted in front of the Bendigo sign in Rosalind Park today, not realising how infuriatingly cliche they were being. "This is the 10th pair of detestable schmoes I've seen...

Coles Busker Added To Groovin The Moo Line Up

Music
According to festival organizers, the decision to include the busker, Ed "The Cat" DeRosa was a last-minute move to appeal to a more "authentic" and "grassroots" crowd. "We were looking for something different this year," said festival spokesperson, Jess Sampson. "And we figured, why not give a chance to someone who truly knows how to connect with people going about their business?" Ed "The Cat" DeRosa, who is known for playing a mix of classic rock covers and original songs on his acoustic guitar and was thrilled about the opportunity. "I've been playing out the front of Coles for years, and...

‘S’ Plates Introduced To Identify Shit Drivers

New car plates have been launched in Bendigo today. The new S-plates, or “shit driver” plates, were launched by VicRoads and The Greater City Of...

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Sport

Bendigo To Host Scooter Stealing In 2026 Commonwealth Games

Bendigo has been officially announced as the host of the Scooter Stealing event at the 2026 Commonwealth games. Eaglehawk will take centre stage. Teams will make their way down Eaglehawk...

Bluey Unveiled As Brisbane 2032 Olympics Mascots

Because why not?? (Sorry, that's all I've got)

Local Mum Who Trained In Daughters Kiddie Pool Is Off To The Olympics

Eight months ago Bendigo Mum Rebecca Laminator bought her kids a Kmart inflatable kiddie pool to escape the heat. Next week she's chasing her first Olympic gold. "Due to covid all the pools were...

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Sci & Tech

Scientists Successfully Capture the Sound Of An Ant Farting

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Cat Sells Dog On Bendigo Buy Swap & Sell

A Marong family have embarked on a search for...

Black Hole To Become Bendigo’s Newest Landfill

A solution to Bendigo’s waste problems has been found...

Local Man creates Bendigo Have Your Say app

If you're one the 30,000 members of Bendigo Have...

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