Food & Drink
“I’m Doing Dry July,” Says Man Clearly Off His Tits
In a stunning display of extroversion, witnesses at The Rifle confirmed Chad Mackenzie, who claims he hasn't had a drink since June 30, was "absolutely pinging off something".
"I asked Chad what he was on, and he said self-confidence and Jesus," said a...
Eaglehawk Theatre Company Announces ‘Mushroom for Error! The Erin Patterson Story’
Eaglehawk Theatre Company has officially announced its upcoming production of 'Mushroom for Error! The Erin Patterson Story'.
Erin Patterson, widely known as the enigmatic “Mushroom...
Jacinta Allan Holds Press Conference to Announce Latest Plan for Press Conferences
Premier Jacinta Allan today held a press conference to outline her vision for holding more press conferences."We are committed to holding more regular and...
Bendigo Community Health Service Provides Free Condoms for Aged Care
In a move that will make all the grandkids raise their eyebrows, the Bendigo Community Health Service has generously distributed free condoms to local...
Echuca Bloke Thinks He Invented Camping After Buying $13 Kmart Tent
ECHUCA—Trent Muggleton has purchased a $13 pop-up tent from Kmart and declared himself a pioneer of outdoor living.
Friends say Muggleton's newfound enthusiasm for the...
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In-Focus
News
Man Proudly Shows Off Southern Cross Station Tattoo
A Long Gully man has proudly showed off his new Southern Cross Station tattoo on his back.
Unveiled at...
Entertainment
The Bendigo Standard Sits Down For An Interview With The Talking Tram
This week, The Bendigo Standard was granted an exclusive interview with one of Bendigo's most iconic figures — the Talking Tram.
Law & Order
Emergency Services Called After Red Cordial Party Gets Out of Hand
Emergency services were stretched to their limits last night after a Facebook invite to an underage “Red Cordial...
In Other News
Health
Emergency Department Offers Express ‘Just Tell Me I’m Dying’ Lane for Hypocondriacs
In a bold move to streamline the patient experience, Bendigo Health's Emergency Department has unveiled a new express...
Fashion
Cyclist Admits He’s Just in It for the Lycra, Not the Cardio
A Kangaroo Flat man has finally admitted what most of his neighbours suspected all along: he didn’t take up cycling for the fitness, the freedom, or the carbon-fibre status symbols. He did it for the Lycra—tight, shiny, ego-hugging Lycra.
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Community
Parenting
Mum Starts OnlyFans To Fund Son’s Obsession With Pokemon Cards
In a bold fusion of maternal devotion and internet entrepreneurship, Eaglehawk mum Traycee Brooker, 34, has launched an...
News
“At Least It’s Not Hailing This Time,” Says Local Missing Fence
After discovering his entire backyard fence had vanished overnight like a magician’s assistant with commitment issues, Cal Gully...
News
Local Teen Discovers Ancient Relic Known as ‘Roundabout Video Membership Card’
A Roundabout Video membership card, believed to date back to the sacred era of the mid-90s has been...
The Back Fence
Opinion
Opinion: Cash Is King? Get With the 21st Century, Dinosaurs!
Every year, as predictably as Christmas decorations in September, some ancient relic emerges from their cave, shaking their...
Opinion
Opinion: Should Bendigo Phase Out Petting Zoos? A Sheep’s Take on the Controversy
By Larry the Sheep, Guest ColumnistListen up, Bendigo! Garry the Sheep here, straight from a local animal farm,...
Listicles
The Most Popular Airtasker Job For Each Bendigo Suburb
IntroIn a groundbreaking investigation that nobody asked for, The Bendigo Standard has delved into the enigmatic world of...
Law & Order
20 Bangers To Play On Your Way To Fight Your Mobile Phone Driving Charge In Court
In the fast-paced world of legal battles, one thing can make or break your case: the perfect soundtrack....
