Local News

Local Sperm Cell Reveals How It Bought It’s First Investment Property

A local sperm cell has proudly announced the acquisition of its first investment property. In an exclusive interview with The Bendigo Standard, the microscopic...

Local Car Thief Shocked to Discover Stolen Vehicle Comes with Unpaid Parking Tickets

In a stunning turn of events, local car thief Jake Mildew was reportedly dumbfounded to find a stack of unpaid parking tickets in the...

Dahlia & Arts Festival Plunges Into Chaos as T-Rex Breaks Loose

In what was meant to be a quaint celebration of community spirit, the annual Dahlia & Arts Festival parade took an unexpected turn when...

Caffeine Catastrophe: Office Riot Erupts as Coffee Machine Takes Unplanned Sick Leave

A bustling workplace in Bendigo was thrown into disarray as their beloved DeLonghi coffee machine, affectionately known as "Beanzilla," unexpectedly went on sick leave,...

Breaking! Dog Shit Can Go In The Organics Bin

Bewildered residents recently stumbled upon the mind-boggling concept that dog crap can go in the organics bin, which is commonly used for food scraps. Expressing...

Finding A Car Park Underground At Bendigo Marketplace Officially Declared A Blood Sport

In a shocking turn of events, parking underground at the Bendigo Marketplace has evolved from a mundane activity into a full-fledged blood sport, leaving...

Local Man Starting to Think Lost Trades Aren’t Actually Lost

After another successful Lost Trades fair, Flora Hill resident Sebastian Marsh thinks it’s all a bit put on. “I mean, this show is getting bigger...

Bendigo Leads The Push For Gender Equality On International Man Boobs Day

The City of Greater Bendigo is leading the charge for gender equality on the inaugural International Man Boobs Day, demanding equal rights for pecs...

Bendigo TAFE Unveils Certificate 2 in Car Theft

Bendigo TAFE has introduced a cutting-edge Certificate 2 in Vehicle Theft, proving that education can truly open doors – car doors, that is. The...

Citizens Now Required to Roll D20 for Housing Approval

In a bold move to inject a dose of unpredictability into the housing market, city officials have announced that citizens are now required to...

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