Mayor Excited to Attend Conference in Portugal, Because Who Needs a Functional Local Council Anyway?

In a move that has left locals Googling the distance between Bendigo and Portugal, Mayor Andrea Metcalf is set to jet off to Braga for the UNESCO Creative Cities Network conference. The Bendigo Standard has learned that Mayor Metcalf, the visionary leader of a city known for its art galleries and historical architecture, and that one really good bakery in Huntly, is gearing up for an international creative odyssey.

Sources close to the mayor reveal she is excited about the conference and looking forward to sampling the local pastries in Braga. The city’s reputation for artistic expression pales compared to its delectable custard tarts.

“I’ve heard the custard tarts in Braga are a work of art. I’m going to bring back some inspiration for our local bakers,” Mayor Metcalf told The Bendigo Standard in an exclusive interview. When asked about the conference’s agenda, she admitted that she hadn’t read it but assumed it involved a lot of PowerPoint presentations and maybe a cheese platter.

On the other hand, Bendigo locals seem slightly puzzled by the mayor’s choice of destination. “Portugal? I thought she was going to a regional planning conference or something. What’s in Portugal that we don’t have here?” questioned resident Barry Power, a local business owner.

To keep citizens in the loop, Mayor Metcalf has promised to flood her Instagram with snapshots of picturesque landscapes, conference name tags, and an obligatory shot of her holding a custard tart. She’s even considering starting a hashtag, #BendigoInBraga, to document her culinary and creative adventures abroad.

Back home, the city council is already abuzz with anticipation as they prepare to implement the innovative ideas Mayor Metcalf is sure to bring back. Rumours are circulating that Bendigo might soon see streets renamed after famous Portuguese pastries. Prepare for Rue de Pastel de Nata and Boulevard de Bolo de Arroz.

While some residents expressed scepticism about the practicality of such changes, the mayor remains undeterred. “Creativity knows no bounds. If a custard tart-inspired street name doesn’t scream innovation, I don’t know what does,” Mayor Metcalf declared as she practised saying “Pastel de Nata Place” with an air of confidence.

In the end, Bendigo may emerge from this international excursion with a newfound appreciation for Portuguese delicacies, a surge in artistic inspiration, and possibly the most delicious street names in the southern hemisphere. Only time will tell if Mayor Metcalf’s trip to Braga will be remembered as a visionary voyage or simply a pastry pilgrimage.


Oh, by the way, we just googled it. The distance between Bendigo and Portugal is 17,589 km. You’re welcome.

The Bendigo Standard
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