Mr Whiskers Demands New Scratching Post. Threatens ‘Meowtiny’

Mr Whiskers, a five-year-old feline from Huntly known for his meticulous grooming and disdain for non-premium kibble, has issued an ultimatum to his human, Jane. The disgruntled cat has demanded a new, high-quality scratching post and threatened a “meowtiny” if his demands are unmet.

“This shabby post is a disaster,” Mr Whiskers announced in a hastily written press release filled with typos. “Only the best for my claws! Anything less is an insult. We’re going to make the living room great again!”

Neighbours have reported hearing incessant meowing from Jane’s home, punctuated by menacing growls. Sources close to the situation reveal that Mr Whiskers has already begun organizing a protest, rallying fellow neighbourhood cats to his cause. “We’re going to march to Petbarn! We’re going to take what’s ours! This is our time,” he said.

Jane, last seen frantically googling “luxury cat furniture,” declined to comment. However, insiders speculate she may capitulate under pressure, fearing a feline insurrection.

As tensions rise, the cat community watches closely, waiting to see if Mr Whiskers’ demands will be met or if Jane will face the full fury of a determined, clawing mob. “This will be the greatest meowtiny in history,” Mr Whiskers boasted. “Believe me, it will be yuge.”

The Bendigo Standard
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