Known for his near-mythical ability to turn the mundane into edge-of-your-seat spectacles, Liam Neeson’s latest movie, The Mongoose, will see him transform Castlemaine into a battleground, complete with explosive car chases, helicopter stunts, and Neeson himself delivering an intense monologue while picking up a loaf of sourdough.
“We needed a setting where a fugitive could execute a 200km/h car chase, dive-roll through a burning shed, and still have time to grab a flat white,” said producer Shelly Mitchell. “Castlemaine just made sense.”
The script, leaked by an overexcited intern, features a scene where Neeson drives a V/Line train, parkours across a row of speeding utes, and defuses a bomb using only a spanner he found in a bloke’s glove box. “We’re also blowing up the Don KR factory, “Not for the plot—just because it’ll look sick”, confirmed the stunt coordinator. “Plus, we wanted an excuse to blow up a few utes in the bush.”
Mount Alexander Shire Council added that demolishing heritage-listed buildings is a small price to pay.
“I just hope this doesn’t mean Castlemaine will now be known as that place where Liam Neeson punched a guy in front of The Bridge Hotel,” said local historian Margaret Bell.
Tourism operators are scrambling to capitalize on the Hollywood buzz, with local businesses offering ‘Neeson-Themed’ experiences, including the “Taken Tour”, where visitors dramatically whisper threats into a Nokia 3310 after loved ones are kidnapped.
Premier Jacinta Allan has welcomed the production, calling it “a fantastic opportunity to showcase Victoria as the perfect backdrop for high-speed chases, dramatic shootouts, and at least one scene where Neeson growls something menacing while holding a servo pie.”
The Premier told The Bendigo Standard, “This is a fantastic opportunity to showcase Victoria as a small American town in dire need of a hero. We look forward to seeing Castlemaine’s quaint streets obliterated on the big screen.”
“I just hope he doesn’t blow up the bakery. They have really good vanilla slices.”
