Local couple Barry and Linda Mitchell have declared themselves “seasoned camping veterans” less than 48 hours after purchasing a second-hand Jayco caravan from a bloke on Facebook Marketplace.
Barry, donning a brand-new Akubra and polarised sunglasses, claims they’re already outdoor experts. Despite their expertise, the couple has yet to take the caravan beyond their driveway, citing “a lot of logistics to figure out.”
“We’ve always loved the outdoors,” said Barry, who once went camping at the Grampians in 1987 but left early because of mozzies.
“Camping’s not just about going places,” Barry said. “It’s about the journey. Or, in our case, preparing for the journey.”
The Mitchells’ friends report that every conversation has been hijacked by discussions about toilets, campfire recipes, and “that one secret spot near Mallacoota no one knows about.”
In the meantime, The Mitchells have begun a blog called Tow Life Tyrants, offering unsolicited advice to seasoned campers. Their first post? “Why You’re Camping Wrong (And How We Do It Better).”