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Bendigo

Former Municipal Baths Upgraded to Premium ‘Looking at Water’ Facility

In a groundbreaking move that has left locals both confused and cautiously optimistic, the City of Greater Bendigo has officially transformed the former Municipal Baths into a “premium looking-at-water facility.”

“We’re excited to open up a space where people can just… look at the water,” said project manager Tessa Finley. “It’s a completely new concept.”

Gone are the days of a makeshift swamp that could have been home to Shrek. In its place is a sprawling recreation area where residents can now walk, sit, and stare at the water without obligation to touch it.

The project also saw the removal of the perimeter fencing, though some locals argue that this is merely a strategic move to make them feel like they’re still technically trespassing. The water, which had previously been filled with more contaminants than a school science project from Bendigo Senior, now boasts a cleaner, fresher vibe.

“It’s a walking path now,” added Ethel Might, who was recently spotted pacing around the site for over 30 minutes while talking to a duck.

For the environmentally conscious, the site also features fish habitat logs, described as “ideal for native mussels and small fish.” However, the person consulted to confirm that these creatures like to hang out near logs is still unclear.

The new “premium looking-at-water facility” is now open to the public, with free parking, free seating, and plenty of opportunity to reflect on the decisions that brought you there. So, grab a friend and prepare to spend an afternoon looking at the water. And then head to the pool next door.

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