ROTTNEST ISLAND—In a moment he described as “the pinnacle of his existence,” local man Craig Thompson finally crossed off the number one item on his bucket list: being told to “go to hell” by a quokka. After years of saving and meticulous planning, Thompson’s dream became reality during a visit to Rottnest Island.
The elusive event transpired when Thompson, armed with a GoPro and an oversized carrot, approached a particularly irritable quokka. The seemingly innocent creature, known for its constant grin, suddenly dropped its smile and unleashed a surprisingly articulate and vehement command for Thompson to “go to hell.”
Witnesses report Thompson immediately burst into joyous tears, declaring the moment worth every penny. “I’ve been insulted by many creatures, but this… this is my Everest” he exclaimed, clutching his commemorative “Quokka Swear Jar.”
“I can finally die happy.”
The quokka could not be reached for further comment.
