City Announces Plans for New Year’s Resolution Deposit Scheme

The City of Greater Bendigo unveiled plans for a New Year’s Resolution Deposit Scheme (NYRDS). Inspired by the container deposit scheme, this groundbreaking program encourages citizens to stick to their New Year’s resolutions by offering a financial return on their empty promises.

Mayor Andrea Metcalf told The Bendigo Standard, “For every abandoned resolution handed in, residents will receive a whopping 10 cents. It’s the ultimate motivator to think twice before you swear off carbs or promise to learn Mandarin finally.”

Critics argue that the scheme may inadvertently encourage people to set unrealistic goals to cash in on the payout. One sceptic commented, “I’ve already resolved to become a billionaire this year. Cha-ching!”

Whether the NYRDS will genuinely inspire positive change or just become another financial windfall for the procrastinators of Bendigo remains to be seen. In the meantime, residents are advised to stock up on resolution recyclables because 2023 is the year they finally get paid for their lack of willpower!

The Bendigo Standard
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