Sexyland Announces Grand Opening in Bendigo

Bendigo is buzzing with unprecedented excitement and bewilderment as Sexyland opens its new store at the old Godfreys and Video Ezy.

“We’re here to cater to Bendigo’s adventurous spirit,” Store manager Tiffany Blaze declared, standing next to a six-foot inflatable banana. “From glow-in-the-dark body paint to our signature ‘Naughty Nuns’ costume line, we’ve got something for everyone!”

However, the announcement has sparked outrage among religious leaders. A minister who wanted to remain anonymous told The Bendigo Standard, “This kind of establishment undermines the moral fabric of our community. We should be promoting family-friendly businesses, not places that sell vulgarity. Oh wait, let me look at that Nuns costume.”

Ms Blaze insists that Sexyland will become a beloved local landmark. “We hope to host the first Bendigo Burlesque Festival next year!”

The Bendigo Standard
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