British rock legends Oasis have announced a reunion tour in a shocking twist that has left fans elated and existentially confused. But there’s a catch: the tour will only take place in an alternate universe where the Gallagher brothers actually get along.
During a surprise press conference, a holographic projection of Liam Gallagher from Earth-2489— the only known dimension where the brothers are capable of civil interaction—made the mind-bending revelation and shared the news.
The news has sent shockwaves through the music industry, with fans scrambling to figure out how to access the alternate reality. Some have turned to quantum physicists for advice, while others have resorted to building makeshift portal devices out of guitar amps and VHS tapes of Supersonic.
As for the setlist, sources close to the band have hinted at a mix of classic hits and songs that, in this dimension, were never even written due to the brothers’ inability to stay in the same room for more than five minutes.
Not to be outdone, Blur has also announced its reunion tour of Earth-2489.
The Oasis Reunion Tour is set to be the event of the century—assuming you can figure out how to get there.
