Council To Provide Parking Bays For Dickhead Drivers

Double parking and parking like an idiot may soon become a thing of the past. The City Of Greater Bendigo is creating 5-metre wide parking of various shapes and sizes around the CBD.

Parking Impaired Permits (or PIPs) will need to be displayed on windscreens, similar to disability parking permits.

The new impaired parking spots will be easily identifiable by a purple middle finger.

Chips McFish from the City Of Greater Bendigo said “There is an epidemic of parking impaired people. The last census showed that 75% of Bendigonians parked like they’ve graduated from the Stevie Wonder driving school.”

Local Historian Gilbert Flogg said “The parking impaired have always been around. In the 1800s people would key other peoples horses for not parking between the lines.”

“Even the word Bendigo means Park Like A Twat.”

Application forms for Parking Impaired Permits are available from the City Of Greater Bendigo from tomorrow.

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