Studies show the average child hears over 1,000 swear words per year from their parents—a number local mum Kim Dawson seems intent on driving up.
“What did you just say?!” Kim shrieked while choking on her Chai Latte. “You do not use that word. Where did you even hear it? School? TV? TikTok?!”
Tyler, clearly confused, responded, “I heard it from you, Mum. Yesterday, when you were looking for your phone.”
Kim, who had referred to her misplaced phone using a term best described as “deeply Australian,” immediately entered full denial mode.
“Well, well, well,” said Grandma Dawson, stepping into the room. “Sounds like little Kimmy’s mouth hasn’t gotten any cleaner since she was a little girl.”
Kim’s face flushed brighter than her overpriced yoga mat. “Mother, please, not now—”
But Grandma Dawson was on a roll, leaning into her performance like an Oscar contender. “Oh, I remember when you’d come home from school, spitting out words that would make a sailor blush. I must’ve washed your mouth with soap more than I can count!”
At this point, Tyler’s eyes widened, his worldview forever altered by the revelation that his mother was once a child of scandalous vocabulary. Meanwhile, Dad, aka Greg, was quietly trying to suppress a grin from his corner of the room, clearly enjoying the drama that didn’t involve him for once.
“That’s enough, Mum!” Kim hissed.
Grandma Dawson just chuckled. “See, Tyler? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Now run along, dear, before your mother corrupts you further.”
Tyler’s Dad, Greg, reportedly feigned shock from the corner of the living room just moments after he muttered the word “Fuck” when he dropped his keys.
