Retired Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has been spotted hard at work at the Eaglehawk Recycling Centre in a stunning turn of events, leaving Bendigo in disbelief. After years of leading the state, Andrews has apparently decided to pursue his true calling: sorting through discarded Red Bull cans and old newspapers.
Witnesses couldn’t believe their eyes as they watched Andrews enthusiastically don a high-visibility vest and gloves, fully embracing his newfound passion for recycling. One onlooker commented, “I thought he’d be enjoying a well-deserved retirement, but I guess he just can’t resist the allure of sorting through other people’s garbage”.
Andrews, who once oversaw a multi-billion-dollar budget and managed a global pandemic, now seems content with his role as the self-proclaimed “Premier of Cardboard”. He reportedly spends his days meticulously separating recyclables and exchanging pleasantries with customers dropping off their crap.
Rumours are swirling that Andrews plans to launch a recycling-themed political party, promising to turn discarded policies into practical solutions. Critics argue that it’s just another trashy attempt at staying relevant, but Andrews remains undeterred.
As Victorians look forward to a future without their former Premier, it seems they can still count on him to pick up the pieces; one crushed Coke can at a time.
